Frequently Asked Questions
  
 
Last update: 20 September 2007
  

 
Questions About Finding Poly-Friendly Professionals
 
1. How can I know the people on your list really are going to be right for me?
You can't. While I hope this list is a helpful starting point, you should always evaluate for yourself how well a particular professional works for you. And remember, I am not Good Housekeeping or UL, I'm not a professional poly-friendly testing laborotory, I'm some guy accumulating a list that I hope will provide a useful starting point. You have to take it from there. How do you start? If you're unsure, I'd strongly recommend Dr. Charles Moser's book Health Care Without Shame: A Handbook for the Sexually Diverse and Their Caregivers.
2. What if there aren't listings in my area?
There are lots of other things you can try.
 
Many of my readers have had good experiences working from the Race Bannon's KAP (Kink-aware professionals) listings. KAP is both more extensive and better organized than my small effort, but of course isn't poly-targeted. Similarly, some GLBT folk have had good experiences with GLBT referral groups such as Gaylesta, and PridePlanners offers GLBT financial planning and may be a resource for open-minded CFPs. Other excellent resources include the Bisexuality-Aware Professionals Directory (aka BAP), and Fat Friendly Health Professionals. The good folk at the alt.polyamory home page has a list of poly-friendly counselors.
 
You might also posting to alt.polyamory, or to a polyamory-related mailing list, or contacting one of the countless local polyamory groups. The social networking site LiveJournal also has a large number of local and regional polyamrous communities to try.
 
One additional resource you may want to know about, local to Seattle, WA., is the "alternative sexuality aware and/or friendly" counselors list at sexuality.org.
 
If you find another friendly professional, don't forget to let me know!
3. What's does the little gold star on a listing mean?
It simply means that the listed site has provided a reciprocal link back to this site from their own. This helps identify professionals who for whatever reason are comfortable enough being affiliated with polyamory to include a link on their professional site, much as many professionals list themselves and link to GLBT professional referral sites. The star's alt text attempts to explain this as well.
 
Questions About Getting Listed on PFP
 
1. Can I recommend myself?
Yes, please do. Send information using this form.

2. Does it cost money to get listed?
No. However, as this site is run out of my pocket and personal effort, donations towards the site are welcome, particularly if you feel the site has been valuable to you in finding clients. A link to the site would be greatly appreciated, but again is not required. Sites that link here will be noted with a gold star: This site supports Poly-Friendly Professionals with a Reciprocal Link
 
3. Do I have to fall into one of the listed professions?
No. The primary criterion for inclusion into the poly-friendly professional list is that the person or organization listed be open-minded about polyamory. Poly folk should be able to feel comfortable going to these professionals and being open about their lifetsyle without fear of being judged on that basis.
 
4. What information should I provide?
You need to provide (a) some sort of name or handle as an identifier, (b) some sort of method for contact, and (c) some idea of what it is you do as a profession. Without a bit of each of these three, there's really no point to having a listing. More specific ideas of what to provide include name, relevant occupation and specialties, relevant degress and titles, email address, phone, fax, mailing address, web site URL, and special notes of interest to the poly community. Listings are in the third-person voice and are intended more as listings than complete advertisements.
 
I do not list particulars related to costs. This probably sounds a bit strange, but it reflects two concerns. First, that listings do go out of date, and that can leave unhappy potential customers. Second, that updating pricing happens more often than other listing changes, and that impacts my workload. This is a volunteer effort, the web site is paid for in part by referral fees from the Poly-related Book Reviews site, and partially out of my own pocket. I'm more than happy to link to sites maintained directly by a professional, those sites are an excellent place to keep up-to-date pricing information.
 
5. Can I have my email address be somewhat protected against mail harvesting?
We're happy to provide email addresses, instead of links, as user (at) domain (dot) com or the like. Just mark that you'd like your email 'cloaked" when you submit your listing.
6. Do I need to ask the person being listed?
Please ask the person being listed before submitting their information. Please have them contact me if they have any questions or concerns, or, if you prefer, I'm happy to occasionally try and contact the person myself if you're shy.
 
7. What sorts of listings do you need most?
Medical professionals are a significant need. I'd also to see like more non-US listings overall.. Any new (poly-friendly) listings are greatly appreciated!
8. Can I have my listing removed?
Absolutely, for any reason, no questions asked. Send me a note through the submission form. But please be patient, this site is run by one person, and I'm often away from electronic access for up to three weeks at a time due to the nature of my business. Usually I'll be able to remove it from my site in 24-72 hours, but.....
9. You said you removed my entry, but Google still finds your site when I entered my name. Make it stop!!!!!!
I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do to speed up the time it will take for Google to "notice" that I've changed the site. I do not control what Google "remembers about my site", I only control my site. Being angry with me will not change this. If I have removed the entry from the site, typically Google will notice this change within 2-4 weeks. Please note that other search engines and resources may take even longer to notice this change, and that some resources, such as archive.org, may intentionally keep a permanant copy of any page they've found at any time. I repeat: Being angry with me will not change this.
10. Can you make it so I'm listed here, but Google won't find my listing here?
I am capable of making that happen, and I have decided to not offer that option. I recognize that professionals here are trying to run a business, and clients are important. They are equally important in my own business. However, the point of this site is to provide list of professionals with whom poly folks can feel entirely at ease about polyamory. When you elect to disassociate yourself in a listing from polyamory, you put that ease at risk, and your listing is therefore inappropriate here.


Questions about Polyamory, particularly for curious professionals.
1. How can I learn more about Polyamory in general?
A good starting place would be the quite different books The Ethical Slut and Polyamory: The New Love without Limits. But realize that these are two different views onto one or more diverse communities. That site contains many o ther book reviews that might be worth scanning. The alt.polyamory home page has a variety of excellent resources, pointers to mailing lists, books, magazines, and other on- and off-line resources.. Recent news articles mentioning polyamory and similar concepts can be found here.
2. As a professional, how can I learn more about working with poly clients?

Great starting points are Dr. Geri Weitzman's paper What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory (based on a paper presented at the 8th Annual Diversity Conference) and Joy Davidson's outlineWorking with Polyamorous Clients in the Clinical Setting, (at the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, v.5, 4/16/02.)

 

General Questions

1. Why does this site exist?
I got substandard care from a previous doctor. Didn't kill me, no harm done, however, it was a wake-up call, I want a medical doctor who was comfortable with someone in a polyamorous relationship. I found what I wanted, I wanted to help other people who felt the same way. My day job involves nature photography, I also blog about darn near anything that I think might interest people, like colonoscopy info.
2. How does this site make money? Can I help?
It doesn't. I pay about half the sites costs, the other half comes from advertising revenue here and on the Poly-related Book Reviews. I run the site primarily as a public service, and do all the web design and site updates.
A link to this site is always appreciated.
You are welcome, even encouraged to donate a buck or two if you feel the site has been helpful to you in finding a professional, or alternatively if if you are a professional and feel that this site has been helpful to you in finding clients.
You can also help by suggesting new listings--or, just as important, letting me know when existing listings have gotten out of date. Any update to this site is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
3. Who are you?
I'm Joe Decker, a professional fine-art nature photographer.


 

 

 

 

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